cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
