Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
