i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
