It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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