Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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