did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
