This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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