We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
