perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Pooping to opera.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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