Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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