you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
