was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Im part way to drunk.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
