Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
