All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
