You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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