she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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