that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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