I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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