I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
