so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
