that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
