Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
