hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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