they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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