There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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