At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
