My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
