dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize