are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
