White coat. Heels.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
