sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize