mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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