we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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