i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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