she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
