Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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