i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
