apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
