He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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