Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
