btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
this boner is exhausting
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
