hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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