I'm gonna have a badass scar
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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