i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
