he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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