Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
