Do you still have your period?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
