My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
