Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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