with your own penis?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
