Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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