I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
