he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
