Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize