Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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