apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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