My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
