I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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