Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize