a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
