It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
