You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize